Great Big Moon, Poor Rosie, and My Throat Hurts!

I have so little on my mind right now, because I'm exhausted. Thanks to a certain blonde-headed flake, I'm working early hours on my day off. I got up at 6 in the morning cursing said blonde girl's name. But it's overtime, so I suppose I should be happy :) What brings me more delight than extra cash is the following Washington Post article.

The Jupiter-Venus conjuction takes place tomorrow night, and it should be spectacular:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/11/29/AR2008112901775.html

Even better -

"The full moon Dec. 12 will be at its closest (356,556 kilometers, or 221,554 miles) to Earth since 1993, and the full moon won't be this close again until 2016."

Get your telescopes ready!

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Rosie O'Donnell's new variety show bombed, which is not a surprise. I watched it with my brother the other night, and it was terrible. Stale jokes, bizarre set concept, and mystifying acts (and not 'mystifying' in a good way whatsoever). I actually like Rosie, and I feel sorry for her. But, man, was that terrible.

* * * * *

This new Elvis Costello show on Sundance looks amazing:

http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/music/2008/11/30/2008-11-30_elvis_costello_puts_serious_eye_on_music.html

Spectacle is an indepth music show featuring Lou Reed, Jenny Lewis and The Police. It premieres this Wednesday.

* * * * *

My throat is killing me today, so my supervisor gave me this recipe; I'm making it as soon as I get home:

1 cup milk

1 tsp butter

1/4 tsp turmeric

1. Place milk and butter in saucepan. Bring to a boil.

2. Add turmeric and set stove to lowest setting.

3. Simmer a few minutes and serve.

4. Don't ingest anything for at least an hour.

I always thought dairy was bad for the throat, but I'm curious to see how this works out. I'm also a little desperate, so I'll try anything!

Mitzi Gaynor, You Bore Me!!

Last night I watched The World is Not Enough and then Anything Goes. Because I am a crazy person, and I don’t sleep. I have to say that Anything Goes was kind of lame. Great music (Cole Porter was a genius), but all performed with a kind of bland winsomeness. Even Donald O’Connor couldn’t save this movie, and I LOVE Donald O’Connor. Mitzi Gaynor’s rendition of the title song had me yawning, and really made me long for Ethel Merman and Ella Fitzgerald. Sorry, Mitzi Gaynor, you bore me. Now, The World is Not Enough, that’s another story. Like all the ridiculously-named, sex-on-legs women in all these movies, I have a soft spot for Bond. The gadgets, the stuntwork, that classic score. I’d never seen this one before, and I have to say two things.

1) I hate Denise Richards more than Mitzi Gaynor and

2) Sophie Marceau terrified me. I mean, scariest Bond girl ever.

Oh, a third thing, I love Pierce Brosnan. He’s just perfect. I don’t know if I like where they’re taking the franchise, but Daniel Craig’s chest is so distracting I didn’t really follow the storyline anyway.

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OCD’ers rejoice! Antibacterial soap is on sale at Bath and Body Works (4 for $10). Speaking of sales, apparently Black Friday didn’t go so well. Earlier in the week, the Commerce Dept announced that we’re seeing the lowest consumer spending since the early 80s. This is going to be the kind of Christmas where we all make awkward-looking cookies and handmade gifts. How is it that despite the financial lameness of the holiday, Radio Shack still ran out of TDK DVD-Rs (only $8 for 50) and CD-Rs ($10 for 100) – the only things I wanted. Well, I also wanted a really expensive camera that I can’t afford, but let’s be realistic. Despite the slump, Wal-Mart did well. Wal-Mart always does well; they’re like the cockroach of the industry – they’ll survive anything, even a nuclear holocaust. The world will be rubble and Wal-Mart will still be standing. Which I’m really glad about, because even though they are evil, I love nothing better than wandering through the aisles at 3 in the morning.

The country is in trouble, but we’re still doing better than everyone else. Probably because we’ve borrowed so much money from the rest of the world, we’re floating on that. I blame a lot of our troubles on outsourcing. Can someone Please, Please defend outsourcing to me? I have an open mind – if someone can please tell me how this is a good thing for the country in the long term, I will listen. Outsourcing = good for big business and Indians, but bad for the country overall.

* * * * *

Well, the death toll in Mumbai is now 195. The Pakistani prime Minister denies his country’s involvement. Zardari believes it’s a group set out to undermine India-Pakistani relations. This would make this situation just like the James Bond movie Tomorrow Never Dies, in which evil Jonathan Pryce plots to set China and the U.S. against each other using the evil power of the media. I love Jonathan Pryce; I kept expecting him to break out into song and start hoofing it in that film. Don’t even get me started on Michelle Yeoh.

* * * *



I’m Listening to Sam Cooke’s rendition of Little Girl; and it’s fracking amazing. Sam Cooke and Otis Redding may well be the greatest male singers of the last century. Incredible. I’m working on a version of Redding’s I’ve Been Loving You Too Long. I’m obsessed with that song, I sing it like ten times a day. The bad news is eventually I’ll start to bore myself as much as Mitzi Gaynor bores me, the good news is practice makes perfect and I’m starting to perfect a killer version of that song. It’s good to be singing again, even if I’m only singing for myself.

A last note, and I didn’t want to write it, but it somehow feels wrong if I don’t acknowledge it, since it's the primary thing on my mind. David died ten years ago today, and the passing of the decade hasn’t made me miss him any less. I still secretly pray for him to come back, though I know it's irrational. I'm like a child in that way.








well, that's all.

I'm stupid.

Yes, it's official. I'm stupid. I took the Mensa workout test - which you can take here:

http://www.mensa.org/index0.php?page=12

and it informed me of that which I have already known for some time now. I am stupid. I stopped using my brain and it has become even more squishy and spongy than before. (See, I just ended a sentence with a preposition! Proof that I have become stupid!) I had long suspected this, and said as much to my friend Roxane the other day. I just had that very strong feeling that my IQ has dropped several points. Maybe it had something to do with my five year relationship with a man who had the intelligence of Goofy (and kind of looked like him, too. hmm.)

Maybe it was my diet, or the fact that I stopped writing, or the fact that I kind of stopped doing anything and everything at all. A few weeks ago, a fortune cookie revealed to me: "Knowing and doing nothing is the same as not knowing at all." And that pretty much sums up the last few years of my life ... well, with the exception of graduating from college. Somehow, I managed that despite the drastic drop in my intelligence. I haven't taken an actual IQ test yet (Mensa doesn't provide a score), and I probably won't until I've sufficiently exercised my brain back to strength.

Which may take a while.

* * * * * * * * *

In other news, it turns out corrupt Iraqi officials have stolen 18 billion dollars - half of it our money (taxpayer cash) and, due to amnesty laws, there is absolutely NOTHING we can do about it.

http://www.pigbird.com/images_war.html

WHY are we in Iraq again? Why did we go over there in the first place? It just seems to get worse and worse. Well, at least they've finally decided to pull the troops out by 2011. It might not happen, but at least we now have a number.

Meanwhile, 143 people are dead in India (and counting) as a result of the recent terrorist attacks; and no one knows yet who is responsible. Praying it's not Pakistan, because that would pretty much shatter India-Pakistan relations. God, Obama's got a lot on his plate.

* * * *

And in much, much lighter news (the kind of news I like because my underused brain gets to relax and be squishy), The Onion reports that drinking red wine allows you to tell your mother what you really think:

Study Finds Link Between Red Wine, Letting Mother Know What You Really Think

I love this line specifically:

"However, medical experts are quick to point out that red wine is not, in itself, sufficient to promote a healthy psyche. Similar positive effects have been found in other food and drink items, such as White Russians, vodka tonics, Canadian Club whisky with flat ginger ale, and anything served at a wedding."

Tonight I'll watch the Cole Porter musical Anything Goes with a glass of red wine, and I will call my mother in Colorado and tell her exactly what I think: That I adore her :)

p.s. Read this book, it's brilliant:

Listening to: Vast - Don't Take Your Love Away

Twilight Film Review, Crazy Girlfriend, and 42nd St.

So I haven't posted anything in ages. But teenage pandemonium and mass hysteria has prompted me to post a Twilight review, and, no, it's not bad.

Anyway, I heart this movie. In all its goofy, utter sincerity. It has not one cynical bone in its body.

Although Robert Pattinson doesn’t completely succeed on all levels (there are moments of unintentional garish hilarity and he sometimes looks like a pained mime about to hurl), his overall performance was brave and nuanced. He brought humor and pathos to a role that could have been played as an expressionless, bloodless hair model/stalker. There is no better actor than a brave one. An acting coach once told me, "When struggling with objectives and actions, make the riskier choices." ... of course, I could just be saying all of this because he is incredibly hot.

I thought some of the effects worked. The baseball game was electric and fun. The tree stuff was nice. The transition from treetops and mountain views to the lullaby sequence was gorgeous. Carter Burwell’s score was majestic and sweet, but I admit it sometimes reminded me of cheesy 80s scores for films like Ladyhawke (another sincere, cheese-fest I love). I hated some of the wire work and the running; I think some creative editing could have saved them from the tacky look of certain effects. The makeup was at times just dreadful. I really think the makeup artist could have made them appear pale without turning their faces into kabuki masks. The vampire's lipstick shade I believe was mulberry.



Overall, it was frank and funny and bold, ultimately cheesy, and a even a bit campy. But it was sincere and self-absorbed as first love always is. This film reminds me of that innocent time when I really believed loving someone could mean everything ... secretly, I still partially believe that.

*****

In other news (let's shift from the sincere to the cynical for a moment, shall we?), this is the funniest thing I've read all week:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/god_help_him_but_area_man_loves

My favorite line -

"Maybe it's the way she dumped her nail polish on my pool table when I insulted her sister, or the way she cries every time I eat veal, but damned if I don't adore her crazy ass," Shearer said. "I'll kill her someday, I swear, but that wack-job is going to end up being the mother of my children."

Why does this feel more like an accurate description of real relationships than the star-crossed lovers in the above review? Heh heh.

*****



I saw 42nd St. recently as well (the 1933 film version), and it was spectacular. Ruby Keeler gives a diamond of a performance, and Dick Powell is adorable. I adored this film. It made me long for that more innocent time (a time which has more in common with Twilight's universe than with most films today), when watching people hoof it on a stage and fall in love was enough to temporarily salve the everyday agonies of the Great Depression. It's a resilient, hopeful film with a sharp, winking eye. And it's got one of the best, most classic movie lines ever: "You're going out there a youngster, but you've got to come back a star!!" It doesn't get any better than that ... unless it involves a pair of sparkly cheekbones ;)